My Family is Shaming Me for Not Giving Them Money

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Information My Family is Shaming Me for Not Giving Them Money

Title	:	My Family is Shaming Me for Not Giving Them Money
Lasting	:	9.20
Date of publication	:
Views	:	673 rb

You must be african
Comment from : THE DarksaiyanLORD

People like these parents make me furious! I worked hard, have no debt beyond a small mortgage-which I am not paying off because I am going to sell and move closer to family in the next year when I will buy a small home outright I have a healthy bank account, a great pension and retirement benefits and would be so ashamed if I was a burden! I am childless but have nieces I adore and little ones who are the love of my life! Family is everything! You know what I love to do? Save money for THEIR future! It’s gives me so much joy to share little financial gifts with my loved ones! Here is money for swimming lessons Here is money for you guys to buy a family membership at the museum Being able to bless those in my life gives me such joy! I can’t imagine ever needing to ask them for financial help! I’m saving for when the littles go off to college…might not be a lot but it will cover text books etc my strength is in family bonds My joy is in knowing love is unconditional Shame on anyone of my generation who expects their children to look after them!
Comment from : The Howling Yorkie

It's always been my understanding that one's debt to one's parents is meant to be discharged in supporting the next generation
Comment from : htomc42

The parents let themselves downit's manipulative and narcissistic
Comment from : Supreme Lotus

No self respecting parent would ask for money from their children
Comment from : A GM

It’s painful telling your adult children no I do like the idea of a 1 time gift of money with completion of financial peace university attached
Comment from : Anne F

One thing never to do and to always do Never let anyone know how much you have and always live way beyond your means, therefore you are always confusing everyone Lol
Comment from : Sherry Andrews

We have the same mom
Comment from : Jessica E

Dave can seem be a dink sometimes but man you can tell he a good dad to his kids and he just trying to be the dad most of us need
Comment from : joseph LaBranche

Mmm I think going as far as saying it's adult child abuse just for asking for money is a bit of a stretch ONLY if they are not harassing you brbrIn most cases our parents spend years taking care of us and as adults it's supposed to be our job to look over our parents and make sure they are ok brbrWhen I was a teenager I had no serious guidance on how to save money, my father always encouraged me to save and start a bank account but I was ignorant and bought video games and large purchases brEverything hit into perspective the week I bought a Nintendo 3ds and blew my entire check on that and my dad asked if it was possible to borrow $100 if I had it and man That was a terrible feeling because my dad had hardly ever come to me even as a adult today and ask for money because it's not a practice of his nor is it in his spirit to do such a thing brbrThat being said I just feel in some cases can't be helped and my dad has always been terrific at paying back or even making sure if you are on a deal that involves money that you get your fair share And I think there is in some cases where our parents need our help and there's only so far as a adult that you can help, but I would NEVER say or look at a parent asking for financial help as abuse just for asking Not every case or scenario is the same and yes some parents are toxic and abusive and felt it's owed to them but I've never felt that way towards my own father because he's been a hard worker all his life, in that moment I did learn I have to be more responsible with my money and from there on it changed!
Comment from : Mr Mike

they did a good job raising you to become indpendentstay that way
Comment from : commonsense 389

Giving your parents money if they are in a difficult situation / extenuating circumstance is different eg when mom or dad is a widow or widower sometimes it’s needed
Comment from : Tamar 4272

This advice seems SO wrong What happened to "Honor thy Father and thy Mother?" I was truly privileged to be able, along with my sister, to support my disabled, widowed mother in her later years She needed it, and we were pleased to do it I don't understand this mentality - especially from a Christian show - that "you don't owe your parents a thing!" They raised you, and paid all your bills (probably) for the first 18 years or so of your life Many parents also financed part or all of their kids' college education to make them bable/b to out-earn their parents I truly don't understand this "cut them off without a dime" attitude (Now, in the event that there is "back story" that wasn't on this episode - like the parents going out and squandering money routinely, and being more than able to support themselves luxuriously - my opinion would change)
Comment from : Anna I

Dave’s statement about spiritual dna for pleasing Heavenly Father is absolutely wrong Paul says we’re dead in sun and Jesus says we need rebirth
Comment from : Power rangers

Whats wrong to help family if you are rich like Ramsy?you can't take your money into your grave
Comment from : Eni Mo

Never, and I mean never tell family about your finances
Comment from : Ched Beckford

My wife and I are soon to be mortgage free and we agreed to not tell some of our family members, mainly mine 😂
Comment from : MrC

That’s my mom, she’s envied me in everything I do, even the job I currently have
Comment from : Mario Bryant

I feel so much empathy for this woman My own mother is absolutely horrible with money and has been her entire life Add in a gambling addiction and years working under the table, and she’s now 70 with no savings and a paltry SSI check I’ve tried helping her by starting a savings account, but she constantly dips into it I’ve tried holding onto her money (she asked), but would get frustrated because just a few months later she’d ask for a few hundred here and there to the point where nothing was being saved, and I was constantly withdrawing and sending (and she always needs everything now, now, now) through money transfer services I already handle her bill payments after she had her accounts cleaned out by the IRS for forgetting to pay them after I’d set her up with envelopes, stamps, address, etc…online payments weren’t possible because she’s horrible at using tech She can’t even sign into her banking app 🤦🏻‍♀️ I tried paying her credit card down only to have her charge it back up again immediately She never keeps up with the statement but will literally just keep trying it until it goes through She vacillates between wanting my help to save to yelling at me that it’s her money and her life and she can do what she wants I’m a teacher, and she’s been told teachers don’t make much money, which has saved me from constant money asks and was true for the first few years and even for years after because I had no financial literacy, but I’ve started to make headway using Dave’s system and making smart choices like not trading in my car when it was paid off and buying a small home with a mortgage that is 15 of my take home pay I want to help my mother, but I know that any money I give her will be wasted or give her a false sense that she can go even more in debt with my assistance labeled in her mind as bailout Also, if she begins to suspect I have a surplus each month, she will ask for more and more I’m comfortable but not wealthy enough to support two households But it’s so hard to turn your own mother away, even if she wasn’t the best parent growing up, and I’ve been dealing with her bad money choices since I was a kid and the evictions and repossessions, etc…
Comment from : Dosta Girl

I got a credit card and got a secondary card in her name I did this because my brother was still living at home as he was a minor and he would call saying he was hungry or the electric had been turned off As he was under 16 i could nt get a card in his name Wr lived in different states and thos was before the internet etc I tild my mum it was for emergencies and that she needs to call me before using it Fast forward and she has maxed out the card usong cash advances I was 5k in debt wothout spending a dime My mum tried to tell me she would pay it back 50 bux a week She couldnt even afford that much Learned my lesson
Comment from : Ann-marie Meurs

Parents: "You're good enough to give me your money, but not good enough to give me advice"
Comment from : Stephen Gamber

My gambling addict father in law wanted to move in after grandma died The answer was no Hardest convo we ever had with anyone He figured out his own housing after a big baby fit
Comment from : Karen Abrams

If your strong, firm, live in the truth and value yourself…you will be a lone in this world People are scumbrbrExcept for extreme circumstances and exceptions, asking somebody for money is insulting!
Comment from : Luka Milas

the only vacation poor people can afford are guilt trips
Comment from : Deric Anslum

Calls like this reinforce just how blessed I have been in my life to have parents who have a large amount of assets and to never have to suffer through one of these toxic guilt trips Hard to accept a parent would be like this
Comment from : Matt

Its kind of an American thing to hide your income In other countries it's not taboo Im very open about mine and I make roughly 60-70k a year
Comment from : Kyle

Great advice Dave!
Comment from : Off Grid with the Smith’s

Hahahahhaha "good enough to give them money but not good enough to give them advice" most realest shit ive heard So many are like this
Comment from : T e e J

I’ll tell my momma HELL NAWL so quick…but everyone is different lol!
Comment from : Derrika LaTease

This woman is in tears because her family has no respect for her or the boundaries of being an adult DISGUSTING!
Comment from : Greg Lee

Your parents are wrong about money If they are not entitled make them figure it out they should of seen poor in the beginning and had a plan
Comment from : Kathy Monnin

Hillbilly Papa Dave says NO to her having any more discussions about $ because "HE'S FAMILY" hahahaha
Comment from : CuriousCat

I think there are situations where kids should help parents Sometimes parents give all they can to help set kids up, maybe they spent a lot on their education, maybe they overestimated their ability to save up for their retirementbrThat said, the responsibility of parents is to set their kids up for best future they can That is not served well if they demand money from their kids at the time where their kids need those money the most All because they were too stupid and irresponsible to plan accordinglybrWhether demanding financial help is morally ok is also a complex issue If they (parents) were responsible for taking care of their parents, I think there is an argument that it is moral to ask their children for help But nowadays multigenerational homes are pretty rare in western world and so it is relatively rare case that does not apply to most peoplebrFor me any help of this sort I would give to anybody would have to come with demand for full financial transparency and to plan to fix their finances to some sort of stable, sustainable state Any indication that they will not follow through is an immediate cause for refusal to help
Comment from : Leonard Milcin

When ever the word bible or heavenly father is uttered I pause and exit the video… To much Jebus preeching, focus on the money :) brIn Australia if you spoke like this people would think you’re a bit of a religious nut
Comment from : Hilary Storey

I think its okay if people "ask" for money The problem starts when people expect a Yes no matter what!
Comment from : Adis Sulejmanovic

This one hits home Thank you for this video
Comment from : Sound Pro

Kids with parents like this really DON'T know, because they've had day 1 brainwashing Until I had my own child and realized what I WOULD do for them, I had no context for understanding what my parents didn't do That was a wakeup call
Comment from : Billy Jean Is Not My Mother

As a foreigner and African, culturally, if God has blessed you more than your parents (you will know) I think it’s your duty to help your parents wherever you see a need Just my opinion
Comment from : SMJ

If the child is very well to do financially, I think it is a great thing to help the family out, especially if it is something out of necessity As long as it is an amount you can afford to part with, and only once That way, I cannot be accused of being selfish It should be done if you want to, not because you have to
Comment from : Gen X Murse70

Man Love this so much, love these comments I needed this to Thank you ALMOST Niagara Falls lol
Comment from : Nmc

I wish I had heard this message a long time ago Thanks Dave!
Comment from : Karla Lane

I personally have no problems telling people no
Comment from : Les G

I loaned my parents for the down payment for their house and they eventually put it in my name But i made the deal before I gave them the loan
Comment from : catalina Abeyta

Going through this right now, such a good episode
Comment from : Donalina

Parents don’t have rights to offsprings money and VICE VERSA!
Comment from : Richrico Granada

How can parents ask for money from their child be abuse they don't want to deal their responsibilty
Comment from : Melanie Abbondandolo

My mom has borrowed very small amounts of money and immediately paid it back She became disabled and was destroyed by my father during a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage and left destitute I will never let her suffer and be homeless and without food My father, however, can live in a homeless shelter and i wouldnt help him out She does not have cresit card debt or any other massive debt Her car is paid off, and she lives in pocerty, but her bills are paid The courts allowed my father to Let 12 million dollars worth of property And a business they owned go under because he refused to give her any money since he had met a 20 year old and decided he wanted to marry her My father was convicted of a bank fraud My mother was let out of that My father never spent any time The home, the 401K, the rental properties, the heating and air business, The life insurance, everything gone and destroyed I was 20 when the divorce happened, so I'm well aware of all the details My father really does not speak to me, nor has he built up in 20 years what he lost He still has to and makes 60k a yr if he's lucky He should've been able to retire yrs ago but cannot In fact he has to work now to take care of his wife's 3 grown adult children that do not belong to him
Comment from : the lovers

When i became an adult,i always help my parents but i did it out my good heart, they never ask me for anything specially money!
Comment from : Jose R Suarez

I have had this happen with siblings Answer is no My daughter is much more successful than I was but I would never think if saying she "owes" me anything from the hard work her and her husband did to get there
Comment from : Patrick McKeegan

Money is the root of all evils
Comment from : Gen-Hou Sun

I got same issues with my parents They gaslight me into thinking Im a bad son despite me proving them When my wife and I moved out, they cant control us anymore… what they did was they started backfighting and character assasinating me and my wife to all the people they know to let them feel that they were the victim of the situation Didnt ask to have parents like that but it is what it is Some people do end up with toxic immature parents
Comment from : Unli Rise

Demand evidence from your feelings
Comment from : SLF

As women especially we let our emotions control us of guilt but when you look at the facts we arent doing anything wrong On an emotional level with a narcassistic father i suffered with this for so long though he disnt treat hia children the best in the katter part of his life but i know how it feels even after they are gone its so toxic Now Gods shown me finally and i have boundaries with others
Comment from : SLF

Quick question - what about the laws, in some states, that force adult children to take care of parents' bills? I do not agree with that at all
Comment from : Butterfly Girl

Never, ever, give money to a deadbeat/slacker
Comment from : Ken Berry

Your good enough to give them money but not good enough to give them advice 😭
Comment from : 🌺Faith Comes By Hearing

Her parents are wrong If they want to make bad choices, that's on them When they ask you for money, tell them I'll give you advice to make better decisions, but I won't be giving you any money I enabled my sister's family and they remain dependent on me today Don't get caught in the trap
Comment from : Elizabeth Ashton

This is why poor people stay poor When you take no accountability and have to ask others to bail you out, you haven't grown up
Comment from : Andrew Sullivan

Don’t tell people how much you make!
Comment from : Mclean Room

My parents are like this I'm 28 and they want worship for everything They do that exact "family" bsouthern/b thing I'm treated like a dog renting off them They want me to pay for all odds and ends and property taxes It's never genuine when they give Always want more in return unreasonably I finally said no! They won't sell me a house because they think I'll profit off family Gaslighting is horrific too
Comment from : Thunderous dragon

Let me tell you as a Christian that shame is of satan not GOD! GOD forgives and never brings it up again! Don't fall for the schemes of the devil Be blessed! Christians aren't doormats for the world
Comment from : Vito Asaro

I love this video, nothing but facts dave!!!
Comment from : Enrique

Why are American kids so horrible?? Parents raised them for 18 years and spent thousands taking care of them It’s natural for kids to give back when they’re older
Comment from : Stephen B Smith

Have some friends who’ve been in this situation for a while When it started, I myself didn’t have any money And I hate to say this but as I grew and slowly came into money, seeing their situation has helped me immensely No I’m not rich, but nobody knows what money I DO have and they never will
Comment from : E-Rizzle McInerny

Don’t get me wrong I believe in what Ramsey said But how about getting rid of stereo typing
Comment from : ricky Amsbaugh

I’m hillbilly and we don’t believe in what Ramsey said about hillbilly’s Goes to show he really does not know about hillbillys and it shows it Apparently he was taught that somewhere
Comment from : ricky Amsbaugh

They should be ashamed to be such inefficient human beings that they can't make their own money Entitled peoeple like this need a lesson to remember, and deserve everything coming at them Being lazy and demanding of others while you can't pull your own weight never ends well
Comment from : Sebastian Fernandez

👏 👏 Love how Dave explained "How to Put your Foot Down" Stop enabling your parents and Stop letting the "Emotional Toll" "We're Family" 😂
Comment from : Curtis Davis

Kids should always help their family Especially if you come from a loving family that will do anything for you even now Smh
Comment from : benstein fortheart

2:43 3:03 3:01
Comment from : Bizzy Yao

There’s a difference between family members wanting money from you be wise the deal with money unwisely, and those who cant pay for what they need The latter would probably be fine to give money to (though this situation is complicated by the child really being apart of a different family now that she’s married, it’s more like asking another family to deal with your finances) but the former just needs to learn
Comment from : ConsideringOrthodoxy

This is the thing I worry about when my parents die and my siblings start leaving off me
Comment from : Jeffrey Davis

My Mom and Dad didn’t need my money, but if they had ask I’d given it to them in a heartbeat…RIP Momma and Daddy 🥲🥲🌷🌷❤️❤️
Comment from : Shia Maxwell

id give my parents anything
Comment from : lisa jones

the mallards freak showbrvigliaturas dill doebrmike welch juniors beau
Comment from : Jeffrey Richardson

Cultural differences lol
Comment from : Seku Drame

Dave’s spiritual teaching about the similarities of the relationship between you and God and you and your parents is so deep and spot on
Comment from : Ruchita Chaudhary

It's hard to say no
Comment from : Kenny Martin

Dave thank you I guess all Africans in diaspora are being abused by our parents It’s making me cry 😭 It’s so hard emotionally
Comment from : NanaAkua

Thanks for your advice Im Asia it is obviously a obligation that we children should/must support our parents But nowadays i dont feel like this mindset anymore Although i still send them money and give them money to pay debt (unwillingly) and others consider me as a bank Everytime when my siblings, relatives need money they ask meof course not for lending but giving oftentimes i really feel that i have been used for a long time by my beloved family I m really 😢 When i was in tough financial situation, i had to stand up on my own because they said to me that they can't help me, before i just opened my mouth to askis that a family? I love them all But they seem not to do i just want to make distance to them
Comment from : Hannah Hoang

Thank you!
Comment from : D Jenkins

My dad would drink his money away and get furious when I would tell him no I don’t have money I was a teenager working at Burger King He would rip the house apart looking for my stash I kept all my money at a friends house Ppl are freaking crazy
Comment from : The BroVillian

One of my sisters has been sending me constant messages to lend her $500 I blocked her before because she kept sending me stupid messages and now thisbrbrI feel bad for blocking her, but if I do it's a necessary evil because she doesn't realize she's being harmful to me
Comment from : Philip Marc

The parents in my family routinely demand money from the adult children, or steal it outright through fraud Needless to say we are not close
Comment from : shannon mustipher

I always come back to this video, cuz my parents never stop trying to shame me for my money
Comment from : daddy doug

Even Kobe Bryant had to cut his own parents off because they always wanted more He gave them millions but they wanted more
Comment from : Black Spiderman

You would think the parents would be happy for them that they are getting out of debt and on their way to financial freedom but instead they are asking for money which is crazy
Comment from : Kezia E